It all seems like a dream looking back. Drifting back and forth throughout the weekend between waiting for the moment of truth, of destiny. There was a feeling of this final was destined to be won. The crowd and the team all had a common belief. After the years of losses since 1988 some expected defeat to protect themselves a little from the disappointment.
After the match relief ruled the roost until slowly excitement began to filter through and together joy was born. Bumping into old schoolmates, brief words with the supporters of both teams, the Guinness flowed down the gullet. Foreigners don’t understand the tribalism which doesn’t allow non born local fully in. Locals mostly head back to where they are from that night. some stay around. the local towns are alight with glee. Smatherings of melancholy mixed with the unbelief of something that was always going to happen, but nobody could answer when. The when had arrived though. The buildup of pressure like a steam engine whistling through the space in the castiron.
The Monday after the weekend was one of the worst nights of fear I had in quite a long time. Almost asleep 3 or 4 times, shock entered my soul waking me from my half gotten sleep in a sudden moment. The body was afraid, the head was afraid. The fear feeds on confusion. Afraid to fall asleep but as the night wears on, afraid to stay awake for the pain of a sleepless night lingers from times before.
It’s been a while since I’ve written something down. it’s Bastille day, i wasn’t here last year but there must an undercurrent from last years attack. perhaps an undercurrent is too soft as there is no festivities planned in Nice and the fireworks about the Provence have been postponed to tomorrow.
We had planned to sell cans of beer at the festivities. they are all bought and slowly getting cold in the fridge. the poor fridge is overheating trying to get up to speed with it’s new lukewarm load. 36 cans for a start. Mart has 60. I’ll need to pay another visit, I reckon I can get another 12 in my fridge though food is always a nice thing to have too.
Selling them we’d need to keep away from pubs. along by the beaches is a start. Johnny foreigners like myself are a better bet too, choosing the wrong French person could cause slight issue perhaps if they are a squealer sort.
Walking amongst the groves. Take the lemons round, they are a bit better.
It’s hot, the nights are cooler but still hot. The mornings are definitely hot.
Every night there are people looking for something to do. Sitting outside in the evening air there is energy in the air.
Swimming everyday. The waves. Freshen up. Ready for the world again.
The motivation is on the way back for creating a website and writing a short story for a start. The to-do lists are useful! Next a budget to pay the annual French government tax. over 10% of the salary.. In france the single or unmarried people without kids prop up the system. Once you get married and have kids the benefits roll in. Suppose that’s right from a societal perspective.
It’d be useful to think about the slowing down of time. I never had this sensation before of time flying by. Perhaps it always did but I was never so aware of it. In catch 22 I think it was Dunbar who used to do things he hated doing because it made him feel time was moving really slow and he wanted to get good value from life. A friend from before who studied philosophy liked to do neutral things. This slowed down time for him he felt.
When I go hiking I feel like I am getting good value from time. Drinking on the other hand is great fun but all passes in a whirl! The Monday to Friday working in an office sensation needs adjustment to. How can one slow this down? This open question shall become food to chew on for the next few days if one doesn’t get distracted by manmade deadlines or just a general forgetfulness of philosophical ideas when compressed into an office. I remember before I could spends days on a single thought wandering by the sea, drinking coffee, taking trains. It is time to try to get closer to this way for a time anyhow.
Time flies as the old adage goes. Has the concept of time flying changed from now to say the time of the guys building the pyramids or farmers living the life on the land. Does the 7 day week were each day goes bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang another working week gone, the weekend now, Monday again, Friday again. If we started changing or markers into the seasons or the moon or something similar, would this slow down time. I’m sure it would
In our modern 5 day week we can slow it down by leaving it and doing our own thing but that is not an option for most people. When we find ourselves in this situation we need to attach our feeling of time to goals and don’t concentrate on the days. If we work a little on our goals everyday, Monday to Sunday we can change this sensation of it’s Monday again. This isn’t a definitive answer. It’s just an answer. Perhaps we all need to find our own way to stretch out our concept of time.
It’s funny the way the left used to be the representation of the working class man. Now in a lot of places around the world the working man has fled to the right. This is part of a cycle.
What is the next step?
that feeling when you are really uncomfortable, whether it be talking about vomit, blood and bones, smelly retch inducing shit or talking about operations we all suffer at some time
Walking by the sea the gentle slip slop of the sea against the town ramparts. Time goes on, (time passes) yet it all seems like it was only a short time ago. The cycle of life, begins, is and starts again. A fine line to what is what and which is which.
What is consciousness? Is this our reality? Or is it something external?
All these questions which we can either try to answer or not think about them. We are born and we die. Either side of this is the great unknown. But really all that is part of the whole.
My stomach is dodge, either it was the porridge I had this afternoon or the week old beef. I reckon it could be the beef though you can never be sure if you’re not used to the porridge.
The rain, outside it rains, the pub calls on this Saturday evening, the music of youtube keeps the tempo even, perhaps it’s not better to have the high energy music before heading out, cause a person to peak too early and not with others.
After a few months of people claiming they will leave the US, complaining about their fellow citizens in the US and complaining about the US from outside the US, Donald Trump has signed the contact.
My life hasn’t changed so much since this election. Listening to people I thought zombies would be walking the Earth now. Luckily all these predictions are wrong!
As humans we make the present seem so much more important than yesterday or tomorrow. It’s a little like perspective. Up close to something makes it seem bigger and imposing casting a great shadow over all in its vicinity.